About The Spiritual Hitchhiker

The Spiritual Hitchhiker has been dead, enlightened, and kundalini-awakened more times than he can count. He’s portalled through timelines, hitchhiked across galaxies, and accidentally started several religions — most of which were later acquired by marketing departments and turned into apps… just like all the ones we currently know about.

He loves time travel. It’s the most efficient way to check off your bucket list. A few thousand years ago, he was trading jokes with desert mystics. A few timelines later, he was writing code for tech bros who thought they’d invented consciousness — which Hollywood promptly ripped off and turned into a half-assed sequel. Somewhere between the pyramids and Palo Alto, he realized it was all the same story — just different costumes. Same gods, new logos. Same longing, higher resolution. Same debt-based slavery, shinier marketing departments.

He’s been a philosopher in sandals, a consultant in sneakers, and an accidental time traveler with no return ticket. After too many cosmic layovers and a couple of questionable deals with galactic customs, he finally made it back to Earth… which has gotten really weird since he’s been gone.

These days, he lives a suspiciously ordinary suburban life — grocery runs, laundry, and the occasional flashback to Atlantis. He writes books and transmissions for the cosmically curious, mixing sacred geometry with stand-up comedy and footnotes from forgotten civilizations.

When he’s not pretending to be normal, you can find him behind the bar at the Cosmic Dive Bar at the End of the Universe, serving quantum cocktails to wandering souls and telling jokes only the multiverse laughs at. Some nights, he swears he can still hear the hum of the portals — like tinnitus from God.

If he’s in a timeline where people are still using email, you can reach him at spiritualhitchhiker@protonmail.com.

About This Site

thespiritualhitchhiker.com is what happens when an interstellar burnout tries to organize his multidimensional hard drive. It’s a repository for everything he’s picked up along the way — the maps, the books, the transmissions, and the cosmic cocktail recipes — all orbiting the same big question: What the hell is going on here?

It’s part library, archiving the Hitchhiker’s books — A Hitchhiker’s Guide to Spirituality and A History of the Light — and the strange cosmology he’s been reconstructing between lifetimes.
It’s part blog, for anyone with ADHD, cosmic FOMO, or too many browser tabs open between incarnations.
It’s part cosmic dive bar, a digital liminal space for the spiritually ascending and dimensionally jet-lagged to swap stories and recalibrate their karma.
And it’s part storefront, for those who want to invest in the Hitchhiker’s Frequent Time Traveler Miles Program — and wear the perks.

This site exists for anyone who’s ever looked around this timeline and thought, There has to be more to the universe than this.
TL;DR: there is. You just have to squint between dimensions, wade through the static, and steer clear of the Anunnaki.

Welcome to the story. The drinks are free, the portal’s always open, and if you start seeing double — that’s just your higher self walking in for a quantum cocktail.

Don’t Static.